I'm planning to have a birthing stories page on here soon, but that requires some tech knowledge and understanding of how I edit this website without mucking it all up!! So for now I thought I'd put it up here on my blog post as it's too beautiful to wait to post... Get your tissues at the ready as it's an emotional one! As always, a huge thank you to my families for sharing their experiences.
"It was a late Friday night, the 14th of June, when our lives were about to change forever. The clock read 10:27 PM when M's waters broke. I was in the living room, gaming with one of her sons and her daughter, completely unaware of the miracle about to unfold. M waddled through the doorway, a mix of determination and excitement in her eyes, and announced that we were about to have a baby. I looked over, saw the evidence of her waters breaking, and my heart raced with a mixture of elated joy and panic.
Fortunately, we had decided on a home birth and had already set up the birth pool. Despite the preparation, the reality of the moment hit me hard. I jumped into action, fumbling and panicking about what to do next. I called our midwife, trying to keep my voice steady, and began getting the pool water to the right temperature. M, meanwhile, was just starting to feel her first few strong contractions, having endured weeks of on-and-off Braxton Hicks contractions.
When our midwife arrived, a wave of relief washed over us. We had chosen her for her kind nature and seemingly endless wealth of knowledge. With her presence, we all relaxed a little. M wasn’t ready to get into the pool just yet. The contractions needed to get closer and stronger, so we put the boys to bed – they didn't want to see the birth – and her daughter came out to help me and be by her mother's side.
The hours ticked by, turning into a full day. Twenty-four hours of stretches, walking, pacing, and lying with a peanut birth ball that M despised, but our midwife loved. The contractions would pick up, get close together for three to five rounds, and then completely subside. We were keenly aware that if we went much past 24 hours, we might have to transfer to a hospital, a scenario neither of us wanted. Our home was a sanctuary of soft, colou
r-changing lights, a warm room, and quiet privacy. The thought of moving to a loud, clinical place with bright white lights was unbearable.
Late Saturday night, the contractions started to intensify, although they were still irregular. I comforted M as she got into the pool, whispering soft words of encouragement. "You are strong," I reminded her. "You know how to trust your body. It knows what to do." Our midwife provided gentle support and encouragement as well.
As midnight passed and we entered Sunday – Father's Day, no less – everything changed. The manageable contractions turned intense in a heartbeat. (So a small note is we had photos taken the entire time during the birth so we have some exact times thing happened because of the timestamps.) Within two contractions, our midwife had her mirror underwater, trying to see the baby. Nothing appeared at first. But from the moment the mirror came out of the water to A being born, it took an astonishing 16 seconds. Four contractions, 31 seconds in total, and our son entered this world, never experiencing pre-labor, born super healthy and exactly on his due date.
A weighed 7 lbs 10 oz, measured 21 inches, and M said he was a carbon copy of me. Yet, I saw so much of her in his beautiful face too. He was strong, healthy, and had no complications. M recovered quickly, and I did my best to look after her and our family so that she and our new baby could rest.
This experience gave me a new understanding of love. Love is a funny word – it means one thing but can be felt in so many different ways. It can be pride, happiness, connection, and it can be felt just as strongly for two different people. I am in awe of M's strength, beauty, grace, and love. For our kids, who were incredible during this birth and supportive of our new family dynamic. And my son, who I knew from the moment I held him, I would love and protect for the rest of my life.
I now have a family, a dream I've long held. Nothing compares to this moment when I can truly call myself a partner, a stepdad, and now a dad."
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